1 Month In

I've been here for more than a month now. 
The 1st weeks were tough. Hard. Painful. And sad. Trust me, whatever emotional preparation you make before packing your bags and then leaving everything would be nothing.
Nothing to what it feels like being far and alone
Realizing you are all by yourself
And your support system is hundreds of miles away 


So I put my head up
Pray
and pray harder
And live each day.
And I get by... 


There are days that I'm barely hanging here
There are days I'm OK 
And there are great days.
That day when I ran my heart out on to Raffles Exit I 
to meet Micuy
That was one GREAT day
That was pure love right there.
One hug erased everything.
Just like that.


And then reality would again sneak in and bite you in the ass.
Ouch! 
It's bite always seem to hurt.
Every time. 
And before you know it happy days are over 
And you're back to that dark, sad, lonely place.


Life goes on.
And then when you least expect it
Reality bites you even harder
Knocking you down on your knees.
Damn! I did not see that
Cut straight thru me.


I'm still on the process of healing.
Slowly standing with unstable feet
Getting my bearings right
Careful not to fall that hard again. 
There are things that are still unsure
Things that need answers
And like every painful phase in life... I lift everything up to God.


I'm not sad.
But I'm not happy.
I'm OK. :)


Definitely much stronger. 
And I have something coming up this weekend...
Happy days are coming!


2 more months. I'm OK. I know I'll be.