Day 2 (Jan. 27, 2011)

1.) Work for everything that it is: the self-worth, the hard-earned money, the perks.... it's a gift. Thank you God. For 3 years, i have a work that I love.


2.) Working out. Well it's not called "work"-ing if it's not hard. It's tough to maintain a draining job then run you're heart out at night. But for the past year I have learned to take good care of my body. Health is really wealth and I've got to start nurturing it as early as now. :)


3.) M Hotel. Breakfast. Clean room. Good bath. Good sleep. Cocktails. Filipina trainees who have become my friends. This place which has become my home for the past 4 days is a treasure. I'll look back at this place, smiling- happy amidst the loneliness.


4.) Kitsy. She's my 1 month old niece. She's adorable. She's the apple of the eye of my parents every single day. I love her to death!!! and she's so pretty I wanna stay in Davao for the rest of her infant life!


5.) Mama. I owe her everything. We still talk almost every day. And she's where I draw strength from. Whatever I have right now, is because of how she raised me.


6.) Papa. My rock. My ever calm and steady rock. We have the same views in life, and I love sharing everything about life with him. Ohh...parents! makes me sooo emotional!


7.) My 2 yr. old iTouch. She's now back in Singapore. I bought her during our 1st abroad trip here and she's a treasure. Everything about her is a treasure.


8.) Chocolates! :) Sorry babe, but I've been eating a lot lately. hehe For the happy hormones. And for my forever affair with them.


9.)  Rain. For 2 days now whenever I wake up, there's rain drops on my window. I thank God for it. Just this morning, I felt like this city is crying for me because I was not happy being here. But rain is still one of my favorite thing in the world. I love rain!!! 


10.) Reality. Well I had a bad dream this morning. When I woke up my heart was aching so bad.. And then reality sneaked in and everything is where it's supposed to be. REALITY- as hurtful as you are sometimes, I'm still up for the challenge. 

A Promise

I'm in a difficult place- a far away place. Most of the time I'm alone. And the sadness creeps in every now and then. Officially this is my 2nd day here, but just 2 days in and I feel this lonely. 


I have thought about this at home. How would it feel like to be here? How much would it hurt?  But sometimes you just have to feel things to really feel them. Thinking wouldn't help. 


But optimistic as I am, I'll always see this as a blessing. Somewhere, some time, God's plan will reveal itself. I just have to trust in His ways. Extremely hard. But that's it. No backing out, move forward and let Him do the rest.


So I made a promise. I had done this way back in college- w/ Oprah's advice. And I'm doing it again. 


I'll list down 10 things everyday that are good about my life. Things that I should be grateful. This would also be a MUCH better choice than a photo diary in Facebook, of my daily journey or whatever. 


My mantra:
"Whatever happens- life is still good. Life can get difficult and more, but the only way to live a happy life is to embrace its complexities"


So I'm still grateful for this. Maybe I'll find answers or maybe not, but there are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. And I'm finding reason from the things that makes my life beautiful. ;)


And my 1st 10 things: (26th January 2011)


1.) the date itself is worth thanking. Micuy and I call this "I love you" day. Because for whatever forces the universe conspired to have a moment like that of Jan.26, 2008 was the best accidental thing that happened in our lives.


2.) the white linens in my bed. Every waking moment I rub my cheeks on those linens. Ahh and it feels soooo good.


3.) Singtel sim. I can text, call and have contact to my love ones every single day.


4.) My engagement ring. I always see it... typing, talking to someone, eating, texting... and it's a happy ring. I feel happy looking at it. I feel love wearing it. 


5.) Legs. My legs. Oh they're as strong as they can be. I walk 15mins or so to the office. I walk fast to get some cardio going.. I ran last night at the gym. I'm thankful I have strong legs.


6.) Skype. Skype is skype. :)


7.) Angela. I'm having a blast being with her. Everyday is a gift. Everyday I thank God that she's here on my first days. I want her to be here until my secondment ends. But she's on the final days of her secondment so she'll be leaving soon. 


8.) Unlimited hotel internet. I just plug my laptop, turn on the camera and call Micuy. Then I watch TV while talking to him. Thank God for that.


9.) Curls in my hair. I'm loving it now. I love swaying it when I'm walking on the streets. I love feeling the curls! :)


10.) Blogspot. Thank you for being my vent. 


Till tomorrow. :)

Praying

I'm on the verge of panic. 
This is where I think time flies extremely fast and I have so much to do and more! 
I don't know if I'm done
I don't know what are complete and what are not
Everything seems half-done


I don't if this is the way how weddings should be
Like pre-nup should be done a month before 
or invites would be sent 2 months before
then fitting 3 months and then final fitting a month prior to the day
Marriage license expires! so you can't do it way too early


I wish I could do all of these earlier
or finish them ahead of time so I won't feel the pressure creeping in
Yes
Everyday
Every silent moment I'm starting to get paranoid
Every little detail should not be missed.
Sometimes I choke on the pressure.


It has always been my prayer and right now more than ever
Please Lord calm my heart. Calm my soul.
I know there are things that I should let go
Thoughts I should not think
And I lift everything up to You.


God, my thoughts are quite messy right now
With the grace of your Holy Spirit 
Guide me quietly
Touch my heart with your wisdom and strength
To stand strong on my ground
To let go of things that I should let go


Thank you Lord for the continuous grace of strength
Though You know sometimes that I falter, 
But I know everything would possible with your grace


So I'll stand up. Face another day. And lift everything up to You.


Amen.

Crazy for this girl

Literally I am!! I can't get enough of her legs!
And that always perfect hair
Her angelic face
And her clothes, my God! I wanna live in her closet!


She's dubbed as the "real" Blair Waldorf.
Meet my current fashion god,
Olivia Palermo.

Black chiffon blouse on black shorts with flats. Definitely a classic style. And BTW, hair is simply perfect.

Another soft chiffon on short ensemble. This time umped with colors. 

Yes, she struts the NY streets in sneakers with a Hermes bag. :)

Ballerina flats (and the bib! I love!)

And of course, she rocks on events.

-xoxo-

I'm sorry

Yes blog
I'm sorry.
I was sooo busy!
Wedding
Work
Vacation
Family
Errands

Yes I'm a busy girl. I don't even have the luxury of writing my thoughts every now and then.
But two very important writings are coming

1st: A message to my parents. I have that one started but still that's a looong way!
and 2nd and most important: My Vow! darn! i never thought it would be so hard to write one!

But maybe because 10 years of knowing someone can't be put in one piece of paper.
Love can't be explained with a promise.
Feelings so deep is not just written.

I had thoughts of what to write, but at the end of the day I'll always ask myself is it enough? And then I'm back to square one.

5 more months! I'm feeling the pressure coming in! :) Wish me luck! and wish me Write! :)